Woman considers elopement after overbearing mother tries to hijack her intimate wedding plans, mother continues to feed the fire: ‘[It] completely crushed me’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 17, 2024 11:00 PM EST

Some ladies dream of having an extravagant wedding with 100+ of their closest family and friends, and other women prefer to keep it small and quaint so they can enjoy everyone's company equally! There's nothing wrong with either option or the secret third option: Just a few witnesses and your forever person.

If someone tries to convince you to do what they want for your special day, nip their idea right in the bud. That's what the woman in this next story does, but her mother continues to antagonize her for refusing to have a large wedding. Her mother even goes so far as to threaten the woman with her and her father's absence on the day of the wedding, but that backfires almost immediately and her mother apologizes.

Even still, the woman is not happy that what she wanted to do for her special day is up for debate. What would you do in this situation? Scroll to read more about the conclusion this woman came to…

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    "[It] completely crushed me. I've always imagined my parents being there."
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    Overwhelmed with family wedding drama - should we elope?
    via NervousWeb8118
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    My fiancé and I got engaged in June 2024 and started wedding planning a few months ago. I've always wanted an outdoor wedding in the spring or early summer with close family and friends. My
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    fiancé, who really just wanted a courthouse wedding, agreed to this smaller compromise. I found a few intimate options on a beach that allow a maximum of 30 guests.
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    At first, my mom seemed supportive, she couldn't imagine us having a big wedding that we didn't want to have. She was excited and requested we travel and host a celebratory dinner with
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    her extended family that weren't part of the guest list (they live across the country). She was initially involved in some planning, so I had her cancel a few venue tours we booked.
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    After about a week, she sent me a new hotel venue tour she booked in her city and mentioned it would make it easier for one of her sisters to travel to (who wasn't on the invite
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    list). She had changed her mind and decided we need to invite 30+ extended family members. When I said no, she told me that she and my dad wouldn't come. She
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    couldn't be part of an event that might hurt peoples feelings. That completely crushed me. I've always imagined my parents being there. Since the conversation, I've been
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    full of anxiety and having some health problems. After a week passed and hearing of my health from my dad, my mom sent me a message apologizing and that she would be there.
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    I tried to move forward with my parents during Thanksgiving and avoided discussing the wedding. But my mom found ways to bring it up with insensitive comments such as "without her help.
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    in planning, there won't even be a wedding." And that she still needs one of her siblings to be invited (which I feel opposed to - since it feels rade not to invite her other siblings/my dads siblings?).
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    My fiancé's family also has some drama with his parents being divorced, his siblings are not on speaking terms with his dad, and a sibling with a disability (who may have outbursts/interrupt the
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    ceremony). And he's introverted, so the idea of a big event makes him not excited. With all this heaviness and stress, I'm considering going with what my fiancé
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    had in mind with the courthouse wedding or a destination elopement just the two of us. I feel like the day will feel less special without my sister (who was with us during the
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    engagement) and a few others. But I wouldn't want to cause more strain by making an even smaller guest list. I'd love to hear some advice, opinions, and small wedding or elopement ideas.
    via NervousWeb8118
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    Perfect-Day-3... 16h ago. Elope, you have your sister, your fiancé picks his best person to attend as your witnesses. You can always have a party after to celebrate if you need to. Your wedding day is about you and your partner, not about anyone else.
    via Perfect-Day-3431
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    . Looming Disast... • 14h ago Elope. Your mother couldn't attend something that hurt people's feelings, but the bride doesn't count as people, I guess? She's being ridiculous. You've decided you want a small wedding, so have your small wedding.
    via LoomingDisaster
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    Specialist-Wol... . 16h ago Elope with the special people in your life, either at the courthouse with a nice supper after or a outside venue/restaurant.
    via Specialist-Wolf-2116
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    Foundation_Wr... 11h ago Elope to a place you love, your Mum doesn't seem to care that her attitude is hurting your feelings the most!
    via Foundation_Wrong

Tags

family drama aita bride marriage entitlement wedding party drama wedding planning wedding drama attention seeking selfish reddit story family feud wedding entitled people karma brides entitled family planning reddit thread Reddit weddings entitled people
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